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August 25, 2014

Inferior Action Movie Sequels

So a few weeks ago you may remember that I did a blog about some sequels which were just as good as, if not better than the original films.

Today I’ve decided to explore some sequels which just didn’t live up to expectations or were quite frankly, crap.

So let’s take a look at some sequels that were disappointing for various reasons.


Terminator 3: Rise of the Machines

Although I don’t hate this movie, it just felt completely unnecessary after the perfect first two Terminator films. It was essentially a parody with the same story as Part 2. Arnie’s “Talk to the Hand” scene was cringe-worthy and the story lost all sense of impending doom and dread created by Cameron’s classics. To me, this is the weakest of the series because at least Salvation tried to do something different, despite its flaws. In its favour, the last 15 minutes are pretty cool where we finally get to see the machines well… rise.


Spider-Man 3

To be honest, I’ve never been a huge fan of any of the Spider-Man films; I just don’t like Tobey Maguire as Peter as he just came across as a whiny little bitch. At least I can admit though that Spidey 1 & 2 were decent films; just not my thing. In this movie we have Peter’s EMO dancing, unintentional humour, crying and too many villains. Venom was thrown in at the request of the studio, despite the fact that Sam Raimi was never really a fan of the character. The film becomes bloated and with so much going on, despite a great box office it was reviled by most.

Tony Jaa and Jeeja Yanin in Tom Yun Goong 2 aka The Protector 2 movie still

The Protector 2

Tony Jaa’s first Protector movie was pretty spectacular and who can forget that one take fight scene inside the restaurant? Sadly, this ill-advised sequel is overloaded with poor CGI and kinda defeats the purpose of having Tony in the film. The whole thing with Jaa when he first appeared on the scene was “No Stuntman, No Wires, No CGI, no equal”. But now we have pretty much all of the above and it really made the film a massive disappointment.  It’s not a terrible film as there are enough entertaining moments especially from Maresse Crump and Jaa, but overall it was a bit of a letdown.


Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End

Now here’s a movie series I just didn’t “get”; I thought Depp was funny as Jack Sparrow for about half an hour then I got the point. There is enough in the first and second movies to make them fun at least; sadly with this third entry in the series, Depp’s Shtick was getting very tiresome and no longer funny. Never mind that it is over long and just incredibly dull and boring. I practically ran out of the cinema by the time it was over as I was ready to scream. Sure, it had impressive visual effects and the addition of Chow Yun Fat, but with such an uninvolving story and a stupidly long run-time this is a movie I genuinely despise.


RoboCop 3

For those who thought a PG-13 RoboCop movie was a good idea, I give you Exhibit A: RoboCop 3. A film so obviously thought up by Studio committee simply to sell more toys. Not only is the violence practically removed, but we get a smart ass child who befriends RoboCop in order to… ah who cares? Everything about it is dumb, from Robo in the jetpack, to the special effects; it’s a rare occasion that I can’t sit through a movie but this is definitely one of them.


A Good Day to Die Hard

This is pretty much an exercise in how NOT to do a Die Hard movie; John McClane is practically a side character, his son is an unlikeable ass and the movie has no main villain until the very end. Despite the R Rating, that sure doesn’t guarantee a better movie. Willis seems bored and there is so much shaky cam that you can barely see any of the action. There is a cool car chase but that can’t save it from being humourless and uninteresting with a forgettable script and a crap story.


Speed 2: Cruise Control

The first Speed is one of my all-time favourite movies; it was a case of high concept executed perfectly. There’s a bomb on a bus, if it goes over 50 MPH the bomb is armed; so simple, but utterly effective.  Alas, with this rotten sequel set on a Cruise liner, it lacks any of the tension of the original movie by being so utterly ridiculous. I actually normally like Jason Patric but he was so bland in this movie that you don’t really care what happens. Willem Defoe is clearly having fun but his villain is so implausible that it’s difficult sit through the movie. By the end you’re wondering if that boat will EVER stop crashing!


Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull

Raiders of the Lost Ark is one of my all-time favourite movies, in fact probably my number 1 but boy, did they drop the ball with this movie. I know plenty of people like it, but me? I can’t stand it. From Shia Le Beouf’s annoying character Mutt, to the awful CGI; the film is practically unwatchable. There’s little to say that everyone else hasn’t already stated but yeah, aliens have no part in Indiana Jones. Indy is meant to be going after religious artefacts usually with supernatural powers. It maybe could have worked if handled better, but the way it was put together was half-assed and for me, is the weakest of the series. I do enjoy the motorbike chase and there are a few “Indy” moments but overall I am not a fan.


Universal Soldier: The Return

Thank God John Hyams came along and redeemed the name of the Universal Soldier series. The first movie is a personal favourite but this movie with Michael Jai White and JCVD is pretty lame. The final fight scene is cool and there is some decent action but the supporting cast are pretty bad and the script isn’t much better. I consider this a bit of a guilty pleasure though and enjoy it after a few beers.



Iron Man 3

Here’s another movie that has plenty of fans and bizarrely made over a Billion Dollars worldwide. I enjoyed the first half enough, but the story was just so stupid that it lost me; I hated the twist and not just because of what it did to the Mandarin but how it insulted the audience with the execution. They made Ben Kingsley’s Trevor Slattery an unfunny theatre “luvvy”and I remember during my first viewing I literally swore at the screen. All that build up to be let down… Wait, is Guy Pearce breathing fire? Why is Tony Stark not dressing up as Iron Man? Why are the suits made of tin and fall apart so much? Why is Gwenyth Paltrow saving the day at the end, thus making Tony Stark’s story pointless? Why did Stark give the Mandarin his house address and then when the bad guy’s show up, Stark is totally unprepared? In fact, the Honest Trailer below says it better than I ever could.

About the Author

Eoin Friel
Eoin Friel

I grew up watching JCVD, Sly and Arnold destroy bad guys, blow things up and spew one-liners like it’s a fashion statement. Action is everything I go to the movies for and the reason I came up with this site is to share my love for the genre with everyone.

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